Ash Wed- Lenten Reflections

This morning, I woke early and before beginning my work for the day, I sat in silence- an effort to begin my Lenten reflections. Not long ago, someone told me to pay attention to my senses and sit for awhile when I was in those moments. You know the moments- the moments when your chest is tight or your throat closes up in sorrow or there is a swelling in your stomach- a swelling of joy or of sorrow for no reason at all. For me- the moment is often soft slow tears for no reason-tears I just can’t hold back and sometimes I think of these as the waters of my baptism-welling up from within as my reminder-

These moments that are deep within- My dear wise, old friend told me-“live in those moments, poke around in those corners, and feel the texture of their walls.” She said, “You need to slow down and stay long enough to sense the presence of God sitting with you- in you.” It’s hard for me to do that lately-I guess she recognized that going on with me. It's just hard when work is so hectic and when life is full of wonderful and busy things- things that I want to do or feel I have to do…

So- today begins my personal Lenten journey. My time to reflect on life-a time for turning – things over inside of me – for turning things around- for turning away from the worldly pressures and busy-ness-A time for turning over my habits and wasteful desires-A time for me to turn over my sins and repent.

I fully intend to use this day and this season to seek the face of God for direction, what turn take-a new start, and renewal. I also believe that it is not a coincidence that my peace study group is coming together tonight to discuss government repentance in the peace making process. Lenten repentance for me is not only an inward and individual experience but also an outward and social one. This turn in my view of repentance began several years ago when I studied a book titled Speaking of Sin? The lost language of repentance by Barbara Brown Taylor. It was the beginning of my belief that too much focus is on individual sin and that we should also look at corporate sin.

So, Not only am I going to pray for forgiveness for my personal over indulgence of FOOD, I am also going to pray for the world in which the economy and government has had an influence on the poverty level-Poverty was created by human decisions - our votes and I am also going to fast while I pray and give the meal money to a charity of my choice and I am donating some time to deliver meals to the poor.

Another example of what I have realized is that up until my wonderful teacher(s) in the UMC and the Episcopal church, I had no historical memory. I have historical memory now and I realize in spite of my lack of personal involvement in the death of innocent people in the Middle East and in spite of my lack of personal involvement in the turning away and in most cases death of Jewish children sent to and rejected from America for refuge during the Holocaust—I am an American and I repent and feel deep grief over those acts of violence and over all acts of violence taken by America toward people of other lands and Native and African-American people of our land. Forgive me I pray.

Please join me in repentance during Lent-